I go back to work on Tuesday. And when I return that first day will be a humdinger, including me driving a bus full of kids to the pool for a swim meet. Those of you who know me can go ahead and laugh – it’s true, I look absolutely ridiculous behind the wheel of a bus.
Bus driving aside, it’s weird to go back to work with your life in completely, totally different status than it was when you left. What have I done over the past 8 weeks?
1. It is entirely possible to actually FORGET to eat. I always thought that moms would just run out of time to eat and be hungry. No, no … you can actually bypass a meal and not even think about it.
2. My two major parenting fears – clipping my child’s fingernails and taking her temperature rectally – have been assuaged. I’ve done both and Natalie doesn’t seem any worse for the wear.
3. Wet babies are SLIPPERY. They should come with warning labels!
4. Reading overstimulates my child. At least for now. We tried, for the first few weeks she was home, to give her a bath, read her a story, and then put her down for the night. Well, it turns out that she LOVES to listen to talking. She still perks up when I’m on the phone or if JJ and I are talking to each other. I think she likes the sound of voices in general. That being the case, reading her a story was not making her sleepy. Music she loves. So we play music for her to go to sleep on.
5. If only I could teach the dog to put a pacifier back in my kid’s mouth, bedtime would be shorter by about 30 minutes because we spend the last 20 minutes putting a loose pacifier back in her mouth.
6. If there’s no one else in the house does that make going to the bathroom with the door open okay if it means you can hear your baby?
7. My daughter has my husband’s ridiculously long eyelashes. I’m jealous. Of both of them.
8. Did you know that studies have shown a baby can grow as much as a centimeter overnight during a growth spurt?
9. It would be really nice if, after you gave birth, all that baby weight turned into a third arm. I never realized that I could do some of the things I do with one arm because the other one is full of baby.
10. There should be moms-with-infants-or-toddlers parking. After visiting Duke Children’s Hospital to find that both parking garages were full AND valet parking was full and I had to park half a mile away. At the time I was driving our 2-door car and the stroller would not fit in it, so I had to carry her infant carseat, diaper bag, and her half a mile each way to get her to the doctor. I propose that new moms can register for mom-parking. They have to prove the child’s date of birth and then they get a little tag to hang in their car like the handicap parking ones and this tag is good until the baby is 18 months old. I’m not talking like moms should take over parking lots but wouldn’t it be nice if we at least had the option of parking closer at Target or the grocery store? My church has parking for parents with infants/small children and I say they’re spot on.
