The family is gone. JJ has gone back to work. And I’m here at home with my amazing daughter and my dog while the outdoors is 28 degrees, windchilll 15. I’ve got some things to do today, all around my daughter’s eating, sleeping and pooping schedule. Right now she’s sitting in her little chair that plays music and vibrates “like a drive in the car!” and waving at her own reflection. Probably before too long she’ll need a paci and then she’ll be down for a nap. I hope. Yesterday she decided she didn’t want to take a nap until 2 in the afternoon. That was exhausting. I’ve been up for almost 2 hours and JJ watched Nat while I showered but I haven’t eaten anything or gotten any work out (why am I blogging then?). I need to teach the dog to help put the baby’s paci back in her mouth. That would be helpful. Welcome to parenthood.
I have been living in this passage of scripture for the last 2 days.
Here’s another old saying that deserves a second look: ‘Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.’ Is that going to get us anywhere? Here’s what I propose: ‘Don’t hit back at all.’ If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously. (Matt. 5:38-40)
I have been repeating that verse to myself over and over trying to keep myself sane. I’ve been having a stressful situation at work in which some people are upset with me for … well, realistically, I’m not even sure what. Part of it is that they feel like I’m ignoring my duties (which I am – I’m on maternity leave!) but I’m not sure what the other part is all about. But in short, it’s become one big complain-fest about me to another person, and this other person feels like it’s his/her job to let me know what these others are complaining about. Usually these phone calls involve the other person giving me advice on how I need to restructure my priorities, that I’m not doing my job, etc. etc. I always need to look at my baby and my husband after these phone calls and remind myself that THEY are my number one priority. That if I serve them, and serve God, my priorities will line themselves up. It frustrates me that I feel guilty for neglecting my duty. And it frustrates me that it takes time from my daughter. I also have to keep reminding myself not to feel angry with all parties involved in bugging me. That’s where Matt. 5 comes in. If I can remind myself that the solution is not be just as horrible to them as they are being to me … I think I might make it.
