Talking A Foreign Language
Posted: 07/26/2011 Filed under: Ginnie, Life unscripted, Natty, Parenthood 2 Comments »It’s fascinating how different my daughters are. Already I can see marked differences in their personalities although they look very very similar so far. The biggest difference may end up being their love languages. Those of you who have never read The Five Love Languages, in short, each person has a primary (or maybe 2 primary) love language. This language is the way a person experiences love from others, and quite frequently, expresses love as well. The languages are quality time, physical affection, words of affirmation, gifts, and acts of service.
Natalie’s primary love language appears to be gifts. It’s taken me a little while and a lot of empirical evidence to come to that conclusion and I believe that quality time is a close second. But Natalie loves gifts – no matter how small or large. If I just pull a piece of fruit out of the refrigerator and wash it, slice it, call her over and say, “Natalie, look what mommy got for you,” she beams, her eyes light up and she thanks me profusely. And then about 20% of the time might follow it up with, “But I’m not hungry mommy.” Nonetheless, nothing else can do that for her. If I happen to be shopping and get her something, which she already needed like a toothbrush, she takes that toothbrush and has to show everyone what mommy got her. It’s been fun to make “gifts” out of band-aids, toothbrushes, flossers, toothpaste, underwear, fruit, and on and on. Very rarely do I actually need to get a “special treat” like a toy or a book. Just getting her something she needs gives her an amazing thrill. Quality time is a close second. Natalie adores her mommy-daughter and daddy-daughter dates. We take turns taking her for breakfast or frozen yogurt, to the library, or other places and she soaks it all in and talk about it for days.
And then there’s Ginnie. Ginnie’s love language, even at 5 weeks old, is so apparent already: physical affection. By the time that Natalie was 6 or 7 weeks old she didn’t like to be held or touched (she still doesn’t) and preferred to be left alone to study a mobile or a toy. Not so with Ginnie. Park her in your lap or in the crook of your arm and she’s happy. Put her down and she gets cranky. Pretty amazing that at this age it’s that apparent.
Natalie might have gotten her gifting language from me. Ginnie probably got hers from her dad. Natalie and I are sort of in a weird category, though. I’ve always felt that people whose love language is gifts end up struggling to get others to understand exactly what that language is like. It’s awkward for us. I mean, imagine someone telling you that in order to feel loved, he/she needs presents. Weird, right? And undeniably tinged with a feeling of selfishness. But let me try and explain. It’s not the type of gift, nor the cost. It’s the fact that someone stopped to think of you during the day and did something about it. Most of my favorite gifts from JJ aren’t expensive or fancy and rarely from some special occasion (though my diamond earrings for bearing two daughters are the major exception). Over the years I can name some of the strangest gifts that I loved the most. My top 5 in no particular order
(1) A set of colored pens. JJ overheard me telling a friend on the phone that I HATE that teachers always seem to be expected to grade in red because I hate red ink. 2 days later he came home and handed me a set of green, purple, and orange pens. *sigh* LOVE.
(2) I struggled finding a way to clean out our oven. Over a weekend, JJ found a spray-on cleaner that he bought and brought home. Score.
(3) Saturday mornings when JJ went and got me Starbucks. Before I became the very happy owner of a Keurig coffee maker, I had trouble making good coffee and he knew I loved it so he went and got it for me.
(4) For my 28th birthday, JJ and I were both really sick. Somehow Natalie escaped it but we had some pretty serious respiratory issues and both of us were barely able to get out of bed. We never celebrated my birthday that year. But he did drag himself out of bed and got me a bagel for my breakfast.
(5) I went to Wichita about 3 days ahead of JJ and took Natalie with me. JJ had to stay and work. As I unpacked all our junk after Nat and I arrived in Kansas, tucked into my toiletries, between my toothpaste and face wash was a note, “I miss my girls. Give Natalie a kiss for me. I love you.” A cheap post-it maybe, but a gift all the same.
Instantaneous decisions
Posted: 07/18/2011 Filed under: Ginnie, Life unscripted 3 Comments »One of the things that I’ve had to get used to as a parent is making lightning quick decisions. Some of them matter less, both time and consequence-wise. “Mommy can I wear my purple sandals instead of my white sandals?” Sure, why not? “Mommy can I eat strawberry yogurt? I don’t want to eat blueberry yogurt today.” No big deal. And then some of them have to be lightning quick because the well-being of your child lies in your hands.
Take, for instance, last night. Ginnie was fussy so JJ took her downstairs to have a bottle and Natalie and I read some books and turned out the lights for bed. About an hour later JJ woke me. “I need you to come look at Ginnie. She looks blue around her lips.” Talk about an alarming wake up call! So I went to check on Ginnie and sure enough, blue around her lips, although her lips themselves were not blue. My mommy-instinct had me check her fingernails and toenails for blueness and they were all pink, which suggested that it was not an oxygen issue. She was alert and cranky (someone doesn’t like diaper changes) and seemed otherwise fine except her hands were cold so I figured she must be chilly. I wrapped her up, and sat with her and kept an eye on her. 5 minutes later, she looked bluer. Time to make a decision. I chose to call the 24 hour pediatrician that we have with our girls’ doctor’s office. As I described the situation Ginnie turned pale. I gave that info to the nurse I was speaking with and she told me to hang up and call 911.
I’ve only ever called 911 2 times in my life. Once as a lifeguard when we had a child fall backwards off the ladder climbing up to the high dive (he ended up okay, he landed on the kid after him in line and the kid on the ground broke a toe because the falling kid’s head hit his foot – that probably saved his life because otherwise the falling kid’s head would have hit concrete). Once last night. And I’ll say this, although it’s not a fun call to make, and although some people think I’m nuts for doing this, there are times where I’ll look around and think, “OK if I had to make an emergency call RIGHT NOW how would I identify the location and situation.” Weird, and maybe a little morbid, but it made last night’s call remarkably calm and non-scary. As I waited I did all the things they trained us to do at the Red Cross if you’re a “first responder” = checked her airway (clear), checked for visible injuries (clear), held her head in a neutral position in case spinal issues were involved (check), swept her mouth with my little finger in case she had ingested something (cleared), checked her airway again etc. Long story short, EMS came, assessed Ginnie, and she was fine. They suggested we take her to the pediatrician this morning anyway, so we did. We just got back.
Guess what I didn’t know? A symptom of reflux? Blue around the lips. Does our daughter have reflux? Yep. Glad to know that little bit of information now!
Vocabulary exercises
Posted: 07/17/2011 Filed under: Natty, Parenthood Leave a comment »One of the things that has become an almost-daily source of laughter at our house is Natalie’s ever growing vocabulary at 3 1/2. Typical examples are:
(after being disrespectful to her daddy)
Mom: Apologize to your father.
Natalie: I can’t!
Mom: Why not, he’s sitting right there!
Natalie: I just can’t! (getting upset)
Mom: You need to apologize RIGHT NOW. You don’t speak to daddy that way.
Natalie: (starting to sob) Because …. because I don’t know what apologize MEANS!!
(after a discussion about how beans can sometimes cause gastrointestinal symphonies)
Nai-nai: Well maybe we can get some medicine so the beans don’t do that.
Natalie: It’s okay, I don’t eat beans that often.
Mom: Do you know what “often” means?
Natalie: Nope. I just don’t think I eat beans that often.
And Then There Were 4
Posted: 06/27/2011 Filed under: Ginnie, Life unscripted, Natty, Parenthood, Sisters, Uncategorized 1 Comment »Virginia (Ginnie) Kelly Cooper is just under a week old. I say “just under” because in about an hour and a half, she’ll be exactly a week old. Seems like it’s been a lot longer than a week since we went to the hospital with me in active labor, dropping off Natalie at a friend’s house at 1:30 in the morning and Ginnie making her debut at exactly 11:00 a.m. But we did, and here we are, home.
We’ve actually been home since Wednesday, but learning to juggle two daughters has been nothing short of a balancing act and I’m so incredibly grateful to my amazing husband for taking charge and handling things around the house more or less perfectly. I am also grateful that his job will allow him to do that without any issues but I have to admit, it will be nice when my mom arrives tomorrow evening and JJ can go back to work and there will be some semblance of normal functioning around here again.
I’ve been marveling over this new little life that’s so dramatically burst into our lives. We’ve all adjusted well, but, and this is to be expected, the two girls are so different already. Natalie was laid back, easy going, the very definition of an easy baby. Ginnie is demanding and loud, but very task oriented in her demands. She never cries for no reason, always she’s hungry or cold or has a dirty diaper. Natalie wasn’t the biggest fan of being rocked, she liked to be wrapped, laid down, and left alone. Ginnie loves to be held and rocked to sleep. Natalie slept … and slept … and slept. At first Ginnie did, too, but come to find out that was probably a side effect of some mild jaundice. Now she’s awake and alert probably 3-4 hours a day. Nights are not too terribly different, except Ginnie’s involve more noise. This morning I was actually thinking that maybe Natalie’s nights were easier, but on closer inspection, I don’t think that’s true. I think Natalie’s nights had less noise involved – she slept until we woke her to feed her, changed her, and then kept sleeping. Although Ginnie will cry and demand food, I think that overall, we’re not up any more hours, we’re just up via baby alarm rather than alarm clock.
Natalie’s c-section was definitely easier. I don’t know if that’s because I don’t remember most of it, or because it was the first one. I know with this one there was lots of pain and anguish and I remember it ALL. I would sooner just not remember it. That’s all I’ll say about that.
Natalie is the most amazing big sister. I expected more trouble from the transition than we’re getting from her. On the other hand, it’s only been a week. Perhaps I ought not speak so soon. But she runs up and down the stairs (which I can’t) to get things for us, she gives hugs and kisses and wants to hold her sister (but knows she can’t without permission), she alerts us to her sister’s every need (Mommy, she’s crying, Mommy, I think her diaper is wet, Mommy, she’s hungry AGAIN!) and is learning the ins and outs of new babydom. I’m proud of Natalie’s ability to adjust.
But for now, we’re 4. And will be.
And then some
Posted: 04/20/2011 Filed under: Life unscripted, Parenthood Leave a comment »It’s fascinating to me to see the already existing interaction between Natalie and her (still in utero) little sister. Natalie has whole conversations with Ginnie about what went on at school and why we need to thank Jesus for our food. Natalie also finds it hilarious to tickle her sister, I’m not as keen on that one.
At almost 3 1/2 Natalie seems to be growing and changing in leaps and bounds. A few things of note that I haven’t had time to blog about over the last few months:
- You are in love with dance class. I’m not sure if it’s the great group of girls you’re with or whether it’s the dancing itself, but you practice at home by yourself all the time. You especially like the “boogie” move in your tap routine.
- You are inventing your own recipes! Not that you can actually cook them in real life, but mommy is keeping track of what they are so maybe I can actually create them. Most of them are desserts and you’ve said you like to cook desserts more than other stuff. Some recent ones: soft vanilla cake with coffee frosting, raspberry almond shortcake (I am DEFINITELY going to have to figure out how to make that one!), and a vanilla strawberry smoothie. I’m impressed that they’re actually make-able!
- You are WAY ready for this baby. Although mommy is only 30 weeks, with 10 weeks to go, you ask almost daily if baby Ginnie is going to be born today. You’ve picked out a couple of outfits and decided that you and your sister need to share a room. The crib is set up in your room now, so we’ll see if you guys work that out
You made Ginnie a stuffed panda to take to the hospital when she’s born and you are working hard at learning how to help feed a baby a bottle. You’re going to be such an awesome big sister. - You love, love, love school. You’ve been killing your letters and are learning to spell almost everything you can get your hands on. You really like spelling NATALIE, MOMMY and DADDY. Your teacher told me this morning that you also know how to spell most of the names of the kids in your class, which is crazy! You asked me yesterday if I could start teaching you to write words “like a big girl” so I guess I better go and get a workbook sooner rather than later.
- You love Richard Scarry, which makes daddy so proud because Richard Scarry was daddy’s favorite when he was little. You say you like Hilda and Sally and Miss Honey the best because they’re girls, but I think you probably like Huckle and Lowly Worm a lot too.
- You continue to try all kinds of foods. You surprised Mommy and Daddy the other night by eating a slice of half-pickled cucumber. You said it was good and asked for another and ate it, too. Your favorites are still pizza, rice, tofu, almost all kinds of fruit, and spaghetti.
The next 10 weeks will hopefully fly by and life will (again) never be the same!
Perspective
Posted: 04/19/2011 Filed under: Life unscripted, School Leave a comment »I found out on Monday that the father of one of my students was hospitalized Saturday with a dangerously low platelet count. Despite the work of some of the best hematology specialists they can find, the count won’t go up. He can’t so much as brush his teeth for fear that a tiny prick could cause him to hemorrhage to death. My student’s birthday is tomorrow. She has declared that she refuses to celebrate until daddy is home from the hospital. The situation with her dad is precarious at best and there have been murmurs of worst case scenarios. My student is only 8. She’ll be 9 tomorrow. Please pray for her and her family.
The Heart Behind
Posted: 12/13/2010 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment »One of my fellow teachers told the following story about his five year old today at lunch.
They had been discussing at home that they have many toys, and that some of the toys ought to go to someone who might not have toys for Christmas. After sorting through piles of toys, their five year old daughter decided to give up Diamond, her favorite toy of all time, a model of a horse, complete with brush, and all the accessories. After making that decision the five year old was nowhere to be found. Minutes later jingling and little feet were heard coming back into the room where mom and dad were. In her hands the five year old held the contents of her piggy bank. She pushed it towards her mother and father and said to them, “They can have this from my bank, too.”
May we become like little children this Christmas.
3
Posted: 11/27/2010 Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment »Dear Natalie,
Today you are three! About this time 3 years ago, mommy was asleep in a hospital bed with you in your little hospital blanket next to me. You were tiny and now you are a walking, running, talking little girl. Amazing!
Daddy and I are so thankful to God for the gift that is your life. At 3, you know your alphabet and can recognize about half the letters, you can read your name and a few other words: daddy, dog, food and mommy isn’t sure how she feels about this one, but Disney. You can count to about 16, depending on the day. You have a wicked sense of humor and will cheese over just about anything you think is silly. You take tap and ballet once a week and love to dance. You’re the youngest dancer in your class, but you try your best and your teacher says you’re doing a good job. You love your school and your teacher and your friends. You have recently discovered that you can play WITH the dog, instead of just telling the dog to go away all the time and you guys have great fun.
One of the most unique things about you is how much you love cooking. Mommy’s been watching Food Network with you since you came home from the hospital and I think that you’re actually starting to learn something. You can list the ingredients for homemade pancakes, and you know how to make whipped cream and what “stiff peaks” are. For your birthday celebration at school you asked mommy to make raspberry cream cupcakes and we frosted them with chocolate ganache that YOU made (even if you did burn your finger doing it)! You help me make spaghetti sauce all the time and you love to be in the kitchen with me. I like cooking with you, it makes it fun.
Your favorite things to play with are your Disney Princesses. For your third birthday your Nai-nai and Gong-gong got you a real big girl bed and Nana and Pooh are getting you princess things for your room. You love your big girl bed, even though you’re so tiny in it, I can barely tell you’re in there!
You’re going to be a big sister in June (ish) and you’re excited, at least it seems that way. You talk to the baby and tell it good morning and good night every day. I think you’re hoping for a sister, but we’ll have to wait and see what it is in a few months.
I hope you have a super special birthday today, Natalie!
Love,
Mommy and Daddy
Just a girl
Posted: 08/15/2010 Filed under: Life unscripted, Natty, Parenthood Leave a comment »I’ve had a bunch of random, unorganized thoughts the last 3-4 months. Once I organize them, in my head or
otherwise, I’ll probably post more. But for now, just a few updates on life unscripted.
For one thing, it’s another school year. I blinked and summer was over. Every year they seem to pass faster and faster. Working and playing with Natalie doesn’t help time slow down, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Natalie’s 2 1/2 now and working on numbers and letters. She can recognize the letters N, S, D and depending on the day, M and A. The M and A aren’t as consistent as the other three yet. She can count to 13 (“Mommy, there’s MORE THAN TEN!??”) and dresses herself. The other day she decided she didn’t need our help to climb on and off the potty anymore and about a month ago, she decided that having us tuck her in was too “baby” for her and she does it herself now. Every 3 or 4 days she’ll surprise me with a, “Will you tuck me peese mommy?” and of course I do. Dinner is now one of my favorite family events. It seems like overnight Natalie went from needing us every second and making incredible amounts of noise to a little girl who uses a napkin and a fork and spoon. In the last week or so she’s been big on “helping” me with dinner so now she carries everything to the table, including the plates of food I prepare, any condiments, silverware, and (plastic) glasses with ice in them. It’s amazing that she actually helps and it actually saves me time! It’s a new thing and I love it.
This past Saturday was her first organized class outside of school. We took her to a parent-tot gymnastics class and although she was hesitant at first, she loved it. She jumped on the trampoline, practiced walking on the balance beam, did stretches, practiced a forward roll and a handstand (with help) and said she liked it and wanted to go back again. I got her a leotard (not knowing the difference between dance and gymnastics leotard) and some shorts, and headbands to keep the hair off her face. And after we dressed her, it dawned on me how big she is! My beautiful baby is totally a little girl and I love it. As she would say, “Mommy, I not big or widdle. I just a girl.”
Like Sunday Brunch
Posted: 07/18/2010 Filed under: Church, Life unscripted 1 Comment »This morning, we visited Visio Dei in Raleigh. As we pulled up and walked in the door I noticed something … people were walking around with coffee. Not any kind of special coffee. Just coffee. The kind that I might serve when my inlaws are in town, or someone comes over for dinner. And the coffee was in mugs. Real, ceramic mugs. And as the morning went on I kept getting the same feeling. It was as though someone had invited us over for Sunday brunch. It was so comfortable, and refreshing, and when the service was over, I didn’t want to leave. It made me excited for what’s coming, whatever that is, for our new faith journey.
